I spoke way, way too soon.  Yesterday, I felt like I needed some space, a break from Carlos.  When I told him he got upset and didn't listen to anything that I had to say.  He just walked out the door.  I felt bad, but I just needed a break for a while.  I was talking to Zeke on the phone afterwards, telling him what happened and then my mom walked in and said to get off the phone that she wanted to tell me something.  Then she asked me why I broke up with him and I told her that I just needed a break.  She said that I wasn't "all there" after that and I was like what? your not all there, you can't even comprehend what I just said.  I just want a break.  and then I said that I'm 17 years old and you and him expect me to already make this commitment like I'm going to get married or something and I need a break to figure out what the hell I'm going to do.  Then she said why not?  when i was young all of my relationships lasted long.  I said she was a liar because she got married for 3 years and then just left her husband simply because she couldn't love him anymore (he was the sweetest one she had).  I said she didn't even care about how I felt, it's always her point of view. 

    She didn't say anything after that and changed the subject to money.  Asking why do I say that she doesn't care whenever she buys me this and that.  I said that whenever I told her that she didn't care I was talking about whenever she goes and spends all this time with fuckin Micheal (pervert brother in law) after what he did to me.  And then yesterday I thought he came inside the house (we just got home) and I told my mom that I didn't want to go inside if he was in there and she said rudely "That's your problem" and left.  I was so pissed off.  But anyway, that is what I was talking about and that bitch had the nerve to say about her own daughter:  "Sometimes I think that you and him were going around together and the only reason your mad is because he didn't admit it to your sister."  I was like that's digusting and whatever else.  I was cussing my ass off.  I continously told her to "get the fuck out of my room" and possibly "fuck you" I'm not sure.  But anyway at one point I must of talked to her really bad because she came at me swinging and like her she hits me on the top of my head so bruises won't ever show.  Not hard this time, but hard enough to hurt.  I have like a little itty bitty red where she hit me by my eye last night.  And then you could hear dad talking coming to my room and she started to "playfully" hit me.  I know...then anyway I dunno what he was saying because he was talking in spanish and then I was on my bed but I went to the floor to get away from her and her hands were coming at me again and I picked up my leg not exactly to kick her but to shield myself from her hits and she was all "oh you kicked me."   My dad said that I needed to be sent away and all of this crap and I was bad and crazy.  I said I was defending and shielding myself from her and she was like from what this? and started to playfully hit me again. 

    I can't remember too much after that, just alot of verbel shit.  Dad wouldn't stop talking saying things like if I left they were going to call the cops to take me to jail and that I needed to be sent away, I am crazy and all of this bullshit because I was back-talking to my mom.   Everytime I tried to explain what happened or anything at all he would just tell me to shut-up.  Then whenever I was crying my mom just said stupid stuff like she just wanted to watch me and feeling sorry for myself and I dunno.  So then when my mom started crying I was angry enough not to even care.  I just walked away and said I don't even want to hear it and she said I was the devil and this and that.  Dad said I couldn't talk to her that way and I said I'm just talking to her the way she talked to me and he said she could do that because she was my parent.  I said that he had no business to basically call me a whore.  He said he never called me a whore and I said well basically?  you said that I just wanted to grow up to be a slut (he did say that).  Mom too had said that it was my fault what Micheal did to me because I was wearing a skirt and i knew what he would do because i know how he was and the truth is I never thought in a million years that he would do something like that to anyone, especially me.  Again, Dad just kept saying he was going to send me away and put me in jail.  I was like in jail for what? and my mom said for kicking her in the stomach and on her shoulder and I brought up whenever she was really hitting me before dad came and I was protecting myself from her and she was like "yeah right that's what you think you did"...Damn!

I called the cops to ask them if I left somewhere without their permission what I get in alot of trouble with them because I am 17 years old.  I wanted to go spend the night somewhere else.  Whoever it was said he really didn't know and asked me he should send someone over.  I said no because my mom would probably lie and say that I kicked her whenever I put my leg in the way to defend myself from her and that I hit her in the shoulder or something like that I don't remember what I said, but then she came to my room and took the phone away from me and gave them our address and said to come on over.  Then when the cop came I asked him and he said it was fine that I could even move out if I wanted to and they couldn't do anything about it.  He made it sound like I was going to move out, but I just wanted to leave for the night because I was so angry at them.  Then my mom was like fine she can go so I called Sausha and she came to pick me up, but whenever she came my mom said to get the fuck out of my house.  I had a big bag full of stuff, but it was only one day things and she made a comment about it.  Then I left, but later I felt so bad I came back.  They weren't home, but I noticed alot of my clothes and some shoes were gone.  I bought those shoes with my own money.  Anyway, if she bought some of those things does she have the right to take them away even after they have been mine for so long and doesn't it become my possession?  Isn't that written somewhere I think I read it...anyway I'm really asking that question so anyone who has actually read this far reply!

Earlier when she took my prom dress and was attempting to take some clothes I said she could not take any of my stuff even if she bought it with her own money because once she gives it to me it's in my possession and it becomes mine.  Then she said "I didn't buy you that prom dress.  I didn't buy you those shoes."  As if, to show me what she would tell anyone and then she walked out for a while.  No, I think that was the last thing that happened while in my room. 

Well, today she went to San Antonio.  Meaning she took my dress to return it too.  So this is life, isn't it wonderful?  To top it off, I found out that whenever I dated Lionel/Line, he cheated on me.  Guess with who.....................................done guessing?  Same girl that he was dating whenever he kissed me this last time.............................her name is Michelle.  Yeah and guess what else?  She knows about it, he told her.  He's dating someone else now though.  Not like I care.  I hate him so much, but anyway...like I was saying...."yes we've been blessed and there are more blessings to come Bitch!"